Everyone has been there: A friend has drama in his/her relationships and drags you into it; A co-worker gossips to you about others in the office out of insecurity and jealousy. Maybe a friend tells you something you didn't want to know, or a co-worker constantly takes longer breaks and doesn't take care of their responsbilities at work.
It's very easy to "feed the machine", whether your outlet is to call five other friends and share the news or posting a facebook status update or tweeting about it. Why not help contribute to breaking the cycle instead? Social media is ideal for sharing thoughts and ideas, however when does it become too much?
Here's a simple rule: If sending that tweet or that facebook update makes you feel like you are in high school again, then you shouldn't be posting it.
Remember the game telephone? The purpose of the game is to prove that no matter how hard people try, information gets distorted over distance and time. In 140 characters or less, how are you going to be sure your tweet comes across correctly to all people? The same applies to e-mail and other forms of data. Unless they can see your facial expressions and your tone to go along with your words, your message will come across distorted. This distortion becomes even worse when it's not facts you are sharing but opinions.
I prune my "following" list on Twitter when I feel someone isn't sharing "information" and starts sharing "opinions". I can make my own opinions thank you very much, and give me some interesting facts or stories to read. Commentary is reserved for Chris Matthews or Rachel Maddow! (and that's entertainment for me)
I have my facebook wall turned off because I don't want to bother my friends with my opinions and the fact I just ate 2 boston creme donuts.
I have friends who tell me things they shouldn't or I don't want to hear, and I don't share it with anyone, I tell them "Um, please don't tell me any more, I really didn't want to know that".
Some people need to feed their feelings of insecurity and lack of self esteem by burning others. It's easy to do that. It's much easier to make fun of an acquaintance who spilled wine all over her white dress at a cocktail party and tell 20 people than it is to acknowledge you are jealous that she didn't sleep with you back in college and you just can't get over it! It's much easier to gossip at the copy machine that you think that the new guy in accounting got the promotion to controller because he was sleeping with the boss than it is to acknowledge that you barely make it into the office by 9 am and are running out at 4:55. Perhaps that's why you didn't get a raise and a promotion last year?
To me, social media dysfunction is a gold mine for people who are afraid to look at themselves in the mirror. So many tools and methods for putting down and embarassing other people, yet so few look at them as the tools they were meant to be: A means to disseminate information in an increasingly more connected world. I knew about an earthquake in California (a small one a few months back) because of twitter, NOT the evening news. I found out about new research into Alzheimer's on social media, not a medical journal.
I'm very slow and particular in who I decide to follow. William Gibson (@greatdismal) and Guy Kawasaki (@alltop) seem to not only give me the information diet I'm looking for, but their network as aggregators of information introduce me to others who are sharing the same kind of information I want. Mainly re-tweets, this dissemination of information is the holy grail of social media. Facebook is great until you have a high school reunion and then realize there are only 2 people out of the 453 on your friends list that you actually care to keep in touch with. (or as a way of sharing pictures and events with close family without having to send out mass e-mails each week)
Are you social media dysfunctional? Do you want help? It's simple and doesn't cost a dime. When you are about to send out that tweet or update your facebook status think about the people on the other end of the equation. By making the post or tweet, are you enhancing their lives in some way? Are you sharing something important that they need to know? Or are you self serving, feeding your own feelings of insecurity and inadequacies?
Just food for thought. And in the spirit of my own blog entry, I have to ask the question, is all of the above my opinion or just pure factual? For me, it's factual built up from my life experiences and analyzing what motivates those around me. I'm a big believer in self analysis and observing one's own surroundings. From what I see, most people are motivated by vanity, ego and lack of confidence in just about everything they do. It takes a lot of mental effort and exercise to break this habit and try to be the better, bigger person in not sinking to that level.
